Day 7: What Tattoos Do You Have & What Do They Mean?

I've been putting this one off, I'm not going to lie. Why? I have a LOT of tattoos. *sighs* Here we go. Day 7 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge: What Tattoos Do I Have & What Do They Mean?

Here we go, in no particular order:

1. Left arm/Hand: Myriad of Stars/Bats/Cherries/Anchor/Musical Items / What they mean: Nothing. I like them. They're fun. It's a work in progress.
   
   
   
   
2. Right arm/hand: Roses/Skulls/"LOVE" / What they mean: Life/Death. I'm a big believer in keeping things grounded and real. 
   
3. Right arm: "Veritas Aequitas"/ "Be Brazen" / What they mean: "Truth & Justice" - This speaks to me. I'd rather be honest and have integrity than ever lie. Brazen is my sister Lisa's band, and she has the same tattoo in the same place. 
   
4. Right arm: Heartbeat with Treble Clef / What it means: BFF Tattoo with my girl Melody. Hers is on her chest. 
   
5. Right calf, outside: Roses with banner that says "Caleb" / What it means: Pretty obvious - my oldest son Caleb. 
   
6. Right calf, inside: Roses/tribal, "Layne" in a petal that says "Layne" / What it means: Again, pretty obvious - my youngest son Layne. 
   
7. Upper right arm: Fallen angel, unfinished / What it means: I've often felt out of place. Like a fallen angel. 
   
8.  Outer left calf/ankle: Skull & bones in a spider's web/rose growing out of an ankh / What it means: Again, life/death. Also, the rose/ankh symbol were about fertility - I was told at 16 I'd never have kids. (SURPRISE!!) 
   
9. Left foot: Star / What it means: My sister Lacie has the same tattoo in the same place. She's my shining star. <3 
   
10. Left side of chest: Stars / What they mean: Not a thing. It was one of the first pieces Ray did, and is in desperate need of covering, but my chest is a hard place for me to have work done on, especially the left side, due to a car accident back in 2004. So this may be here for good - we shall see. 
    
11. Center of back: Lesbian Pride Penguins/Chinese Symbol for Wife / What they mean: "Wife" matches Ray's "Husband" - it's also apparently a symbol for "Love" in another language, so it works out just fine as far as I'm concerned. The penguins are my matching ink with Jenny Pants; we have the same tattoo in the same place. <3 I love that girl. <3 (Ray's gay penguin helped these come to fruition.) 
    

So there you have it. I'm a work in progress; I have a lot more coming, including one more sister-matching tattoo, as well as a matching tattoo with one of my oldest friends.

I don't believe ever piece you have has to "mean something"; I'm 100% okay with "It's art, and I love it." :)

Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates You & Why

Well HELLO there, dear readers! It is I, back for Day 6 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge! Today's topic: Someone who fascinates me - and WHY!

Now, here's the thing: I'm a people person. I always have been. People in general fascinate me - though admittedly, not always for "good" reasons. *sighs dramatically* There are some very, very....challenging....people out there. Lots of people catch my eye for lots of different reasons, so this challenge is especially difficult for me; how do I narrow it down to ONE person? DO I pick living people, or dead people? Do I pick people I actually know, or not? TOO MANY DECISIONS!! (I don't know why we're yelling!!)

So, because I'm me, I'm changing this one around a little. Here are, in no particular order, FIVE people who fascinate me, and why:

1. Adolf Hitler: Yes, I realize this isn't "PC". Don't care. I am utterly fascinated by him, and have been for as long as I can recall. Maybe it's more the "what he did" than the "who he was" thing, sure, but still. A single man somehow managed to turn an entire people into what amounted to killing machines. That, I'm sorry, is fascinating. Charisma at its' worst? Possibly so.
2. Wyatt Earp: Was he a "good guy"? Some say yes. Was he a "bad guy"? Some say yes. I started reading Encyclopedia Britannica when I was very young, as I'd often run out of books (I steamed through them like mad), and I remember having to read every single thing I could about this man and the shootout at the OK Corral. To this day, "Tombstone" is my favourite movie. "I'm your Huckleberry."
3. Anyone who has spatial thought ability: Canadian vs American Sky Wheel (of Death). I think I've said all that needs saying here, people. (If you don't know what I'm referring to here, just assume I'm an idiot without spatial thought ability and understand that if you ask Eli about this, he'll happily tell you the story, all while laughing himself sick.)
4. The Count of Monte Cristo: Imagine, just for a moment, having that kind of patience. Imagine the pure dedication to the end game. Imagine possessing the ability to live that lie. That is truly fascinating.
5. Me: I'm constantly changing; I am an entirely different person than I was even 5 years ago. I can't wait to see what's next.

Who fascinates you? Why? I want to know!

Day 5: A Place You'd Live But Have Never Visited

Welcome back, readers! Here's today's entry in the 30-Day Writing Challenge.

I had to really think about this one; I wouldn't call myself unadventurous, but the thought of moving somewhere sight-unseen is a little daunting, regardless of who you are! The answer I've come up with? San Francisco.

"But Tab!" you're thinking, "Why San Francisco? That's so....so....random!!" Well, I agree - and disagree. My first thought was New York City, truth be told. I've always wanted to go there, and by Jove, some day I'll get there! However....there's always been something about San Francisco that has somewhat called to me. Maybe it's the climate; maybe it's the culture; maybe it's just that I've watched one too many sitcoms and movies set there. I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. However, I feel like it's close enough to the ocean to satisfy the Nova Scotian in me, yet technology-savvy enough to interest me from a career standpoint. I can picture myself fitting in famously.

So what about you? Where can you imagine moving to, never having visited? Tell me!

Day 4: 10 Interesting Facts About Me

Here we go, into Day 4's post. This is such a completely arbitrary list...what I think is interesting isn't necessarily interesting to someone else, after all. However, I'll attempt to make it interesting for others, not myself. Hope it works!

1. I'm stubborn. Not just a little stubborn; I'm the kind of stubborn that means when I get something in my head, it's going to happen. I don't believe in "luck" (unless by "luck" we mean "working your ass off"), so when I get something - an idea, a goal, etc. - into my head, you can be pretty sure that eventually, it's going to happen.
2. I have very little patience for "victims" of their own life. As I mentioned above, I don't believe in "luck" - good OR bad. I believe that we all know what's best for ourselves, and that if we listen to the universe and what it's telling us, we'll be happy. This isn't to say I don't believe that bad things happen, or that people bring those things on themselves; that would be completely ludicrous to suggest. The type of "victims" I'm talking about are those who do nothing to help themselves and then lament on how "nothing ever works out" or "if it wasn't for bad luck" they'd have none. Sort yourself out, people. Get it together. Make forward movement - which actually requires TRYING. And on that note, trying something once and failing doesn't mean "it doesn't work" - it simply means you haven't found the right way to MAKE it work. Yet.
3. I have Imposter Syndrome. Don't know what that is? That's not a bad thing. Basically, somewhere in my head I feel like people are going to "find out" that I don't know what I'm doing or talking about. Logically I know that's not true - I've worked very hard to get to where I am, and I continue to do so. However....Imposter Syndrome has nothing to do with logic. Google it if you're interested.
4. I used to think I was a "Nurturer" until a very good (and smart) friend said, "Um, no. You're a Fixer." I actually cried, because I knew he was correct. I'm not the person to go to if you want a hug and to be told it'll all be okay; I'm the person who'll listen, hug you, then say, "Okay. Let's fix this!!" 
5. I collect toys. Mostly Pop! Figures, but also Marvel Select figures. I started this years ago, and at first it was only at work - my cubicle was delightful! - but then when I started working more from home, it sort of became a "thing". Also, little oddities that make my heart happy, such as the ones here: 
   
6. I'm very, very close to my family. My mother, one of my Aunts, and my two older sisters are people I cannot possibly imagine my life without - nor would I ever want to. I've been blessed with a life filled with love and support, and without these four women specifically, I'd probably be a much different person.
7. My closest friends are also like family to me. That will never change.
8. I know there's something more for me; I just haven't quite figured it out yet. Which is oddly combative with #3, I understand. Having said that...I'm currently trying to figure out what that "more" is, as I know it's time for me to do so.
9. My Sphynx, Loki Mischief, is my baby. He's wonderful, and I love him. I cannot imagine not having his little bald face wake me up every morning. If you can tell me how this face could be any sweeter, I'd love to hear it, because he just makes me melt: 
   
10. I'm engaged to one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my entire life. He's smart, funny, sweet, thoughtful, romantic, a genuinely good-hearted person, and to top it off...his crazy matches mine. I didn't expect him, and there are days when I'm still completely amazed that he exists. He's sort of awesome. :) (Plus, and I know I may be biased here, but whatever, he's super easy on the eyes. :D )
    

Well, there you go. 10 things about me that I feel are interesting. I hope you enjoyed them!

Day 3: My First Love & First Kiss

So some of you know that I'm doing this whole "30 Day Writing Challenge" thing, and while I'm not doing it daily (I just can't find the discipline!), I AM doing it. Truth be told, I've been putting Day 3 off, because I didn't want to think about it.

So here's my third. Of 30. *sighs* I'll get there. I will.

I'm going to start with my first kiss, because it came WELL before my first love. I was 13. It was at a school dance. It was with a guy who I went to school with. I'd had a crush on him since, well, forever. And I remember that for some reason, he was sitting on my lap - and that was totally okay. Weird....I guess because I was always overweight, I just accepted some things for what they were and left it at that. This was one of those things. Anyway, I remember blushing like crazy afterward, because *gasp* people SAW!! Funny isn't it? At 13, that was a "big deal". So yeah. There you go.

My first love was later. I met him when I was 16, and quite honestly, I didn't even really like him at first. I thought he was obnoxious. (If you know me AT ALL, you'll see the irony and humor here.) I thought he was cute, but remember thinking, "Too bad he's such an idiot." Well, that idiot became my best friend. And then, little by little, I fell in love with him. I'm not naming names here, because the people who read this and knew me then will know exactly who I'm talking about, and well, his identity really doesn't matter anyway.

We had a very odd relationship. I never really knew where I stood. Was I his girlfriend? Was I not? Only he ever really knew for sure - and if I'm honest, I think even that is a stretch. I know that if I showed any sort of interest in anyone else - even saying "I really like him!" because that person was interesting, smart, etc. - MFL (my first love, in case you didn't catch that OVERTLY CLEAR acronym...) was ALL about me. When I eventually decided I'd cried enough tears over him (and I remember using those exact words to my mother...) and moved on, he acted like I betrayed him. He eventually started dating someone else, and has since married her. She's not a fan of mine; I honestly don't know why, as we knew each other from our school years (I grew up in a rural Nova Scotia area - everyone knows everyone), and up until they got together, we got along. We weren't BFFs or anything, but we got along. Anyway...I saw him last spring, for the first time in probably a decade - maybe more. It was....tense. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't; I could tell that would make him uncomfortable. He seems to be well, though, and that's all that matters.

It interests me that someone who was once my entire world is now just a memory. I remember our mothers sitting and talking about our future children. Where one was, the other was; we were each others' shadow. Now? I assume he and his wife are doing well, successful, etc. - and I truly hope they're happy. He deserves to be happy. He's a really nice person. :)

Day 2: My Earliest Memory

Hello again, friends! I'm back - hide your shock (and disappointment)! So tonight I'm tackling Day 2 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge: My Earliest Memory.

This won't be a very long post, I'm sure, because truth be told...I'm not even sure this is a memory, or something I dreamed many years ago and it "stuck". I'll have to ask my father, because he's part of it.

I remember being in the porch at Nanny Melong's house, and my father Gerard was there as well. Me, him, and Nanny. Now, Nanny died when I was 9, so I wasn't very old - I feel like maybe 4...ish. There's a woodpile in the corner, because the house had a stove in the kitchen, and Gerard has fish in a bucket. Live fish. I have no idea what kind they were - nor do I know why he kept them in the bucket instead of putting them on a stick (through the gills - very effective way to carry trout. Hmm. Maybe they were trout!). Nanny and he are having a discussion about something totally unrelated to the fish in the bucket, which is what I remember most about this moment, because I'm just little, and all I can think about are those darned fish. :)

That's it. That's all I remember about that moment, but it's the memory I have that's both the furthest back and the clearest. There are others that are sort of peripheral, but that one is clear. I sincerely hope it's not the remnant of a dream. :)

Writing Prompts and Me: #SorryNotSorry

Okay, it's been a while. I'd do the whole "I'm sorry, I'm back" diatribe, but the truth is, I'm busy, I don't think of writing when I should, and well...I'm a slacker. Deal with it.

I saw this on Facebook tonight, and it sparked something in me.

I've decided I'm going to do this challenge if it kills me. So here we go.

Day 1: 5 Problems With Social Media

1. Narcissism

We all want to "be somebody". Well guess what, princess? Maybe you're just not somebody. Listen - I'm nobody. Sure I'm someone's mom, someone's best friend, someone's fiancee, someone's employee, someone's colleague. But in the grand scheme of things? I'm nobody. I'm just me. We all want this popularity online - we want to have the most Likes, the most Shares, etc. Dudes....we're just people. And while we may want to be "somebody"...the likelihood is that we're just us. And that's okay.

2. False Sense of Security

Sort of ties in with #1, sure. But really....look, it's this simple: You post a picture of yourself, or an event, or a meal you've created (I say "you", but I mean the general "you" - I'm including myself here). Imagine for a second if NO ONE "Liked" it. Imagine not ONE person double clicked it on Instagram. Imagine not ONE person shared it. Imagine not ONE person commented.

Let that sink in a moment, I've got to refill my wine glass.

You still with me? Okay. So now, think back to say....10 years ago. Think back to a meal that you prepared that really stretched the limits of your comfort zone. For me, it was longer than 10 years ago; it was probably more like 27 *gag* years ago, and it was, I kid you not, Peanut Butter Chicken. My parents were out, and I prepared this "masterpiece". (Turns out my mom is allergic to PB - who knew??) It was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. I had to follow that recipe to the letter in order to create this dish. No pictures were taken. No one (Mom especially, I assure you) applauded my attempt. It was simply a meal. Did I still feel great about the accomplishment? You bet I did. Did I wish I'd realized Mom was allergic to PB? You bet I did. The point I'm making here is that posting pictures of my "masterpiece" (and I assure you, I'm using that term VERY loosely...) wouldn't have given me any sort of "up" in the security/sense of accomplishment department. What did give me that "up", and what SHOULD give all of us that "up" is ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING.

3. Lack of Actual Interaction

Anyone who knows me AT ALL knows that my primary contact method these days is either a) Facebook or b) via text. I've moved to a new city, I've got a new job, I'm not exactly on a face-to-face reality with most of "My People". Sadly, this means that a lot of the time, I'm left feeling somewhat empty. Did I "have a conversation"? Sure. Was it "real"? Well...that's debatable, and really depends on who you ask. For those of us who have spent YEARS online, yes. For those old stogies who think that this "online thing" is still somewhat of a phase...probably not. Okay...no one thinks "online" is a phase, obviously. But there is certainly a LOT of research that delves into whether or not "online interaction" is actual interaction. My thought? It really depends on who you are, and whether or not you personally have evolved (emotionally) into a place where this is "enough". For me personally? Yes. I have many online friends who I've never met, and who are absolutely some of the best friends I've ever had. For others? Nope.

4. Instant Gratification

Sort of a collusion with #2, I admit, BUT also a bit different. We expect that if we Tweet to a company, we'll get a response within a "reasonable amount of time". Jay Baer has written an entire BOOK on the subject (sort of) that talks about how to turn "Haters" into advocates. While this has a marketing side (Ya'll know I'm a Social/Digital Media Marketer - as my fiance Eli reminds me often, "You knew what you were getting into!"), the point I'm trying to make here is that we, as a society, possibly even as a culture, expect immediate results to our posts. Let's be honest here - the whole reason we post ANYTHING is for the reactions of others. I'm going to post the link to this blog post once I'm done. Why? Because I WANT YOU TO READ IT!! Get my point? Let's move on.

5. The Forging of Otherwise Impossible Bonds

Two things come to mind here, so please bear with me. I'm sure you're wondering how this is a problem - we'll get there.

1. While I was pregnant with my youngest (about to turn 13), I 'met' a group of women on iVillage.com (no longer - *tear*) who became my best friends. This is a group of women who on a daily basis support, empower, encourage, and lift each other up. We've gone through everything together; divorces, loss of a child, illness, deaths, new jobs, new loves, new hair colours, career changes, moves, fashion trends....you name it, we've been there. And through it all....this is my FAMILY. These women - and I can't link to the group on Facebook, because it's "secret", and rightly so - are my FAMILY. If I need a kick in the ass, they're there. When I needed to talk about my marriage, they were there. Having a rough day at work and need to vent? Yup, they're there. Family member is ill and you're worried? They're there. Job interview and don't know what to wear? Upload pictures, they'll critique - they're there. Parenting issues and need advice? They're there. These women, this community - they ONLY exist because we're all online. That's the high-level common denominator. Yes, we were all pregnant at the same time - but if we weren't all online, we'd have never known each other. And I assure you...these women know me. Ya'll know you who are. I love each and every one of you.

2.  The industry I've chosen my career path in requires me to network, network, network. I also have to be constantly on top of things - there is no "down time", alas. Yet, I love it. Go figure. Anyway, my point is this: I've 'met' some truly amazing people. Take people like Robert Caruso. We've never met, and quite frankly, we likely never will. But we're Facebook Friends, we follow each other on Twitter, and we've had MANY conversations online about a million different topics. I know that he's a very proud Dad, he's completely in love with his lady, he has an amazing relationship with his parents (Go, Mama Caruso!!), and he's extremely dedicated to his work. So what's my point? I'd have never known this amazing person existed without social media.

So how are these "problems"? Well, okay, you've got me. They're not. But since I'm a huge advocate of social media, you didn't really think you were going to get away with 5 problems and nothing great, did you?

C'mon, people - let's be real. Are there problems? Yes. Yes, without question. Are there also amazing things? Absolutely. I for one choose to see the positives. I'll work on the negatives.

Especially if anyone can find that recipe for Peanut Butter Chicken. I'll give that another go...without serving it to Mom. (Sorry, Mama. I love you.)