Day 2: My Earliest Memory

Hello again, friends! I'm back - hide your shock (and disappointment)! So tonight I'm tackling Day 2 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge: My Earliest Memory.

This won't be a very long post, I'm sure, because truth be told...I'm not even sure this is a memory, or something I dreamed many years ago and it "stuck". I'll have to ask my father, because he's part of it.

I remember being in the porch at Nanny Melong's house, and my father Gerard was there as well. Me, him, and Nanny. Now, Nanny died when I was 9, so I wasn't very old - I feel like maybe 4...ish. There's a woodpile in the corner, because the house had a stove in the kitchen, and Gerard has fish in a bucket. Live fish. I have no idea what kind they were - nor do I know why he kept them in the bucket instead of putting them on a stick (through the gills - very effective way to carry trout. Hmm. Maybe they were trout!). Nanny and he are having a discussion about something totally unrelated to the fish in the bucket, which is what I remember most about this moment, because I'm just little, and all I can think about are those darned fish. :)

That's it. That's all I remember about that moment, but it's the memory I have that's both the furthest back and the clearest. There are others that are sort of peripheral, but that one is clear. I sincerely hope it's not the remnant of a dream. :)

Writing Prompts and Me: #SorryNotSorry

Okay, it's been a while. I'd do the whole "I'm sorry, I'm back" diatribe, but the truth is, I'm busy, I don't think of writing when I should, and well...I'm a slacker. Deal with it.

I saw this on Facebook tonight, and it sparked something in me.

I've decided I'm going to do this challenge if it kills me. So here we go.

Day 1: 5 Problems With Social Media

1. Narcissism

We all want to "be somebody". Well guess what, princess? Maybe you're just not somebody. Listen - I'm nobody. Sure I'm someone's mom, someone's best friend, someone's fiancee, someone's employee, someone's colleague. But in the grand scheme of things? I'm nobody. I'm just me. We all want this popularity online - we want to have the most Likes, the most Shares, etc. Dudes....we're just people. And while we may want to be "somebody"...the likelihood is that we're just us. And that's okay.

2. False Sense of Security

Sort of ties in with #1, sure. But really....look, it's this simple: You post a picture of yourself, or an event, or a meal you've created (I say "you", but I mean the general "you" - I'm including myself here). Imagine for a second if NO ONE "Liked" it. Imagine not ONE person double clicked it on Instagram. Imagine not ONE person shared it. Imagine not ONE person commented.

Let that sink in a moment, I've got to refill my wine glass.

You still with me? Okay. So now, think back to say....10 years ago. Think back to a meal that you prepared that really stretched the limits of your comfort zone. For me, it was longer than 10 years ago; it was probably more like 27 *gag* years ago, and it was, I kid you not, Peanut Butter Chicken. My parents were out, and I prepared this "masterpiece". (Turns out my mom is allergic to PB - who knew??) It was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. I had to follow that recipe to the letter in order to create this dish. No pictures were taken. No one (Mom especially, I assure you) applauded my attempt. It was simply a meal. Did I still feel great about the accomplishment? You bet I did. Did I wish I'd realized Mom was allergic to PB? You bet I did. The point I'm making here is that posting pictures of my "masterpiece" (and I assure you, I'm using that term VERY loosely...) wouldn't have given me any sort of "up" in the security/sense of accomplishment department. What did give me that "up", and what SHOULD give all of us that "up" is ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING.

3. Lack of Actual Interaction

Anyone who knows me AT ALL knows that my primary contact method these days is either a) Facebook or b) via text. I've moved to a new city, I've got a new job, I'm not exactly on a face-to-face reality with most of "My People". Sadly, this means that a lot of the time, I'm left feeling somewhat empty. Did I "have a conversation"? Sure. Was it "real"? Well...that's debatable, and really depends on who you ask. For those of us who have spent YEARS online, yes. For those old stogies who think that this "online thing" is still somewhat of a phase...probably not. Okay...no one thinks "online" is a phase, obviously. But there is certainly a LOT of research that delves into whether or not "online interaction" is actual interaction. My thought? It really depends on who you are, and whether or not you personally have evolved (emotionally) into a place where this is "enough". For me personally? Yes. I have many online friends who I've never met, and who are absolutely some of the best friends I've ever had. For others? Nope.

4. Instant Gratification

Sort of a collusion with #2, I admit, BUT also a bit different. We expect that if we Tweet to a company, we'll get a response within a "reasonable amount of time". Jay Baer has written an entire BOOK on the subject (sort of) that talks about how to turn "Haters" into advocates. While this has a marketing side (Ya'll know I'm a Social/Digital Media Marketer - as my fiance Eli reminds me often, "You knew what you were getting into!"), the point I'm trying to make here is that we, as a society, possibly even as a culture, expect immediate results to our posts. Let's be honest here - the whole reason we post ANYTHING is for the reactions of others. I'm going to post the link to this blog post once I'm done. Why? Because I WANT YOU TO READ IT!! Get my point? Let's move on.

5. The Forging of Otherwise Impossible Bonds

Two things come to mind here, so please bear with me. I'm sure you're wondering how this is a problem - we'll get there.

1. While I was pregnant with my youngest (about to turn 13), I 'met' a group of women on iVillage.com (no longer - *tear*) who became my best friends. This is a group of women who on a daily basis support, empower, encourage, and lift each other up. We've gone through everything together; divorces, loss of a child, illness, deaths, new jobs, new loves, new hair colours, career changes, moves, fashion trends....you name it, we've been there. And through it all....this is my FAMILY. These women - and I can't link to the group on Facebook, because it's "secret", and rightly so - are my FAMILY. If I need a kick in the ass, they're there. When I needed to talk about my marriage, they were there. Having a rough day at work and need to vent? Yup, they're there. Family member is ill and you're worried? They're there. Job interview and don't know what to wear? Upload pictures, they'll critique - they're there. Parenting issues and need advice? They're there. These women, this community - they ONLY exist because we're all online. That's the high-level common denominator. Yes, we were all pregnant at the same time - but if we weren't all online, we'd have never known each other. And I assure you...these women know me. Ya'll know you who are. I love each and every one of you.

2.  The industry I've chosen my career path in requires me to network, network, network. I also have to be constantly on top of things - there is no "down time", alas. Yet, I love it. Go figure. Anyway, my point is this: I've 'met' some truly amazing people. Take people like Robert Caruso. We've never met, and quite frankly, we likely never will. But we're Facebook Friends, we follow each other on Twitter, and we've had MANY conversations online about a million different topics. I know that he's a very proud Dad, he's completely in love with his lady, he has an amazing relationship with his parents (Go, Mama Caruso!!), and he's extremely dedicated to his work. So what's my point? I'd have never known this amazing person existed without social media.

So how are these "problems"? Well, okay, you've got me. They're not. But since I'm a huge advocate of social media, you didn't really think you were going to get away with 5 problems and nothing great, did you?

C'mon, people - let's be real. Are there problems? Yes. Yes, without question. Are there also amazing things? Absolutely. I for one choose to see the positives. I'll work on the negatives.

Especially if anyone can find that recipe for Peanut Butter Chicken. I'll give that another go...without serving it to Mom. (Sorry, Mama. I love you.)

Geek Girls RULE!

Last night I attended my first (of many, I hope!) Geek Girls TO event. It was held at the wonderful ING Direct Center in downtown Toronto - a truly fabulous venue. If you've never been there, the atmosphere is laid back and yet edgy, somehow - a perfect fit, as far as I'm concerned.

The topic was Mobile Evolution: Thinking Beyond The App. The speakers:

• Kitty Shum - @kitty_shum
• Thomas Purves - @tpurves
• Matthew Fabb - @matthewfabb

Honestly, I couldn't tell you which talk I liked "most" - they were all fantastic. Of the most interest to me personally was probably Thomas Purves' talk, which explained a lot to me about mobile carriers in Canada and how airwave auctions, "work" and why you're getting ripped off on those US roaming charges. 

All in all, the event was a wonderful time. I met some new people (shoutout to Shanta Nathwani - @TantienHime - who was an absolute delight to speak to and meet!), engaged in some great conversation, and  just had a great time. 

Here's looking forward to the July and August events! 

You can follow Geek Girls TO on Twitter or check out them out on MeetUp.

Stop 'Yer Whinin'!

I bet I've thought this 500 times this week. Just cut it out. I know you didn't get the promotion you thought you deserved. I know you didn't like how things worked out with that guy you were dating. I know things are shitty at home. Listen, I get it. I understand.

But stop 'yer whinin'!

Every single day we do things we're not happy about. Heck, some days I wonder if that's all my schedule says: "Do shit you don't want to do." You're not alone here, let me assure you. Somewhere, someone is just as pissed off about the way their day is going as you are *right now*.

I'm a big believer in making your own way in this world: No one's going to haul your shit around but you, soldier, so suck it up. Am I saying you should never feel down or depressed about what's happening around you? Of course not. I am, however, saying that it's time to stop whining about it and start doing the things you need to do to make shit better.

I have to give a huge shout out to Erika Napoletano right now. In case you don't read it (and you SHOULD), her blog is amazing, and often gives me the (bitch)slap I need. Like this one, that prompted me to get off my ass and do something. Read it. You'll feel better about your life.

And seriously.....stop 'yer whinin'.

Why I'm Glad I'm a Geek Girl

It's after 1am. I'm sitting here watching Breaking Bad (which, if you haven't watched yet, you should, because it's amazing) and thinking. My brain is literally teeming with ideas, plans, thoughts....all of them more expansive and impressive than the last.

I learned some very difficult lessons in the last year - difficult, frustrating, angering, humbling lessons. 2011 was much, much harder than I expected it to be. Family health issues, employment issues, life plan issues, financial issues...the list is long and winding, to be sure. Through it all, I attempted to remain calm, cool, collected and not stressed. (Did you snicker there? I sure did... ) I had days where I thought I was going to unravel - and not necessarily at the seams. There were many nights of sleeplessness, many days of worry, many  "What on earth am I doing??"-like thoughts going through my mind.

So how does 2011 being a total crap shoot pertain to this blog post? It's a brand new day. Nay, a brand new year. Furthermore, I am a Geek Girl. And as you're about to find out, Geek Girls rule.

I've decided I'm going to make 2012 my year. In case you haven't already (for shame!), check out this post - it explains that a little more fully. When I decided this, I hadn't quite decided yet how I was going to make this miracle happen...I just knew it was going to. It seemed like a bit of a mountain, sure, but I'm more stubborn than most people realize (maybe even myself...). Then I came to one very amazing, wonderful conclusion:

I'm smart enough to make things happen in my own life.

Read that line again. It bears repeating. And hey, do us both a favour: When you read it again, substitute "I'm" with "You're" and "my" with "your". You'll thank me later, I promise.

I'm smart enough, I'm capable enough, and I'm determined enough to make things happen in my own life. Why? Because, like other amazing Geek Girls out there (heck, there's even a #hashtag!), I'm intelligent, I'm able, and most of all, I'm willing to kick my own ass when I need it kicked. Let's be honest - sometimes there's no one else strong enough to do it. Most of us Geek Girls are also exceptionally strong-willed.

Part of my plan for making 2012 "The Year of Me" includes working on my own things. After all, we all want to be happy and feel accomplished and successful. Another part is about being proactive in encouraging and supporting others in finding their passion. I recently had a conversation in which some of my oldest and closest friends discussed whether or not we were "missing our calling". In that conversation, I realized that many of us were doing what we were "supposed" to do, what we "have" to do, etc. None of us were following our dreams, none of us were doing, as another Geek Girl friend of mine described, "What, when you do it, envelopes you in it so entirely that you literally think if nothing but what you are doing? That's called flow. What makes your heart sing?". (Thanks, Jules. You're brilliant.)

I am a Geek Girl. I get excited about technology and gadgets and Blurays, I love Facebook and Twitter and Google+, I make my Geek Husband proud, I love a good blog, my set is set aflutter at the thought of a new way of doing things. I'm smart enough to know that because I'm a Geek Girl, I will make 2012 The Year of Me.

And I'd be thrilled to help you make it The Year of You, too.

I Wasn't Kidding....

I'm starting 2012 with a bang. I refuse to simply sit back and wait for things to happen - I will MAKE them happen. I will not sit idly by and depend on the word of others - I will MAKE things happen.

Guess what, 2012? I'm turning 35 in a few short weeks, and you should know right now...big things are coming. 35 and 2012 are going to be nothing short of phenomenal.

I can't wait to look back at this and smile because I've made myself proud - of ME.

2012: The Year of Me

There's not much more to be said; the title of this post says it all.

I'm done "trying"...I'm about to start doing.

I'm finished "hoping"....I'm about to start acting.

I'm through with "wanting"...I'm about to start having.

2012 is the year of ME. And what a year it will be.