Day 9: Your Feelings on Ageism

Good Sunday to you, dear reader. Thanks for dropping by for tonight's installment of the 30 Day Writing Challenge. Up this week: My Feelings on Ageism. Here we go!

This is actually an interesting time to be answering this question. A video recently came out that asked Millennials what they thought an old person looked like, how they acted, etc. I thought it was really interesting - but I would have done it without the exaggerated bits at the beginning. (Go watch it - it's good!)

I've always had a soft spot for older people. We lived in Yellowknife from the time I was 9 until right before I turned 12, and I volunteered at a senior citizen's complex. To this day I cherish those experiences; the people I met while there were amazing, and had stories that amazed and captivated me. I remember this one lady....she was Inuit, and almost completely blind....I used to read to her, even though her English was spotty at best. Though I didn't understand what was "wrong" with her at the time, I realize now that she was more than likely in the very late stages of dementia. Her name was Althena, and she was 103 years old. I've remembered her and her stories for 30 years. I was fascinated by her. I remember thinking about the things she must have seen in her lifetime.

Here's the thing: We're living to be much older than we once did. With advanced medicines and treatments for diseases, less smoking, more exercise, and general better quality of life on our side, it's more and more common for people to live well into their 70's and 80's. Heck, one of my best friends just celebrated her grandfather's 96th birthday with him! People are living longer, healthier lives, so I think the very notion of ageism is silly. People mature; they gain wisdom. Often in my life, the person I've gone to when it comes to life advice is 30+ years older than me - I don't believe that's a coincidence.

TL;DR: I think it's ridiculous, and that people should be embracing their ages, not being treated poorly because of them. We should be embracing the wisdom and life experience that comes with advanced age, not pretending someone is "too old" to do something.

Day 8: A Book You Loved & One You Didn't

Oooh. This is going to be a difficult post for me! Here we go!

Today's challenge is to tell you about a book I loved, and one I didn't love. There are two reasons this is going to be difficult: I have read a LOT of books I loved, and I haven't read many I didn't. I tend to like each book I read, as I get extremely engrossed in characters, etc. However, for the sake of this challenge, I've given this a LOT of thought, so I've managed to come up with a series, rather than a book.

First, though! Books I've loved, because I can't possibly choose just one:

1. Charlotte's Web: I've read this more times than I can remember. I may read it again, just because I've thought of it.
2. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - entire series: AMAZING story. I love Lisbeth Salander, and Mikael Blomkvist is fantastic. The last book was great too, which I didn't expect, seeing as how the original author didn't write it.
3. The Wheel of Time Series: Just putting this down in the list makes me want to add the entire series to my Kobo and start all over again. Rand wasn't even my favourite character in the series, which is the best part!
4. ANYTHING by Malcolm Gladwell: Literally; anything. The man is amazing.
5. The Thorn Birds: I read it for the first time when I was a teenager, and I've probably read it another 5-6 times. LOVE the story of Meggie and Ralph. 
6. The Great Gatsby: Oh, Gatsby....how wonderful you were.

A series I didn't like: The Sookie Stackhouse books. The worst part? I started off really enjoying them. At some point, though, it's like the author just went, "Mehhhh....I don't wanna." and that was basically the end of all things good and fun in the Sookie Stackhouse world.

What about you? What books did you love? Which did you not? Leave a comment!

Day 7: What Tattoos Do You Have & What Do They Mean?

I've been putting this one off, I'm not going to lie. Why? I have a LOT of tattoos. *sighs* Here we go. Day 7 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge: What Tattoos Do I Have & What Do They Mean?

Here we go, in no particular order:

1. Left arm/Hand: Myriad of Stars/Bats/Cherries/Anchor/Musical Items / What they mean: Nothing. I like them. They're fun. It's a work in progress.
   
   
   
   
2. Right arm/hand: Roses/Skulls/"LOVE" / What they mean: Life/Death. I'm a big believer in keeping things grounded and real. 
   
3. Right arm: "Veritas Aequitas"/ "Be Brazen" / What they mean: "Truth & Justice" - This speaks to me. I'd rather be honest and have integrity than ever lie. Brazen is my sister Lisa's band, and she has the same tattoo in the same place. 
   
4. Right arm: Heartbeat with Treble Clef / What it means: BFF Tattoo with my girl Melody. Hers is on her chest. 
   
5. Right calf, outside: Roses with banner that says "Caleb" / What it means: Pretty obvious - my oldest son Caleb. 
   
6. Right calf, inside: Roses/tribal, "Layne" in a petal that says "Layne" / What it means: Again, pretty obvious - my youngest son Layne. 
   
7. Upper right arm: Fallen angel, unfinished / What it means: I've often felt out of place. Like a fallen angel. 
   
8.  Outer left calf/ankle: Skull & bones in a spider's web/rose growing out of an ankh / What it means: Again, life/death. Also, the rose/ankh symbol were about fertility - I was told at 16 I'd never have kids. (SURPRISE!!) 
   
9. Left foot: Star / What it means: My sister Lacie has the same tattoo in the same place. She's my shining star. <3 
   
10. Left side of chest: Stars / What they mean: Not a thing. It was one of the first pieces Ray did, and is in desperate need of covering, but my chest is a hard place for me to have work done on, especially the left side, due to a car accident back in 2004. So this may be here for good - we shall see. 
    
11. Center of back: Lesbian Pride Penguins/Chinese Symbol for Wife / What they mean: "Wife" matches Ray's "Husband" - it's also apparently a symbol for "Love" in another language, so it works out just fine as far as I'm concerned. The penguins are my matching ink with Jenny Pants; we have the same tattoo in the same place. <3 I love that girl. <3 (Ray's gay penguin helped these come to fruition.) 
    

So there you have it. I'm a work in progress; I have a lot more coming, including one more sister-matching tattoo, as well as a matching tattoo with one of my oldest friends.

I don't believe ever piece you have has to "mean something"; I'm 100% okay with "It's art, and I love it." :)

Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates You & Why

Well HELLO there, dear readers! It is I, back for Day 6 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge! Today's topic: Someone who fascinates me - and WHY!

Now, here's the thing: I'm a people person. I always have been. People in general fascinate me - though admittedly, not always for "good" reasons. *sighs dramatically* There are some very, very....challenging....people out there. Lots of people catch my eye for lots of different reasons, so this challenge is especially difficult for me; how do I narrow it down to ONE person? DO I pick living people, or dead people? Do I pick people I actually know, or not? TOO MANY DECISIONS!! (I don't know why we're yelling!!)

So, because I'm me, I'm changing this one around a little. Here are, in no particular order, FIVE people who fascinate me, and why:

1. Adolf Hitler: Yes, I realize this isn't "PC". Don't care. I am utterly fascinated by him, and have been for as long as I can recall. Maybe it's more the "what he did" than the "who he was" thing, sure, but still. A single man somehow managed to turn an entire people into what amounted to killing machines. That, I'm sorry, is fascinating. Charisma at its' worst? Possibly so.
2. Wyatt Earp: Was he a "good guy"? Some say yes. Was he a "bad guy"? Some say yes. I started reading Encyclopedia Britannica when I was very young, as I'd often run out of books (I steamed through them like mad), and I remember having to read every single thing I could about this man and the shootout at the OK Corral. To this day, "Tombstone" is my favourite movie. "I'm your Huckleberry."
3. Anyone who has spatial thought ability: Canadian vs American Sky Wheel (of Death). I think I've said all that needs saying here, people. (If you don't know what I'm referring to here, just assume I'm an idiot without spatial thought ability and understand that if you ask Eli about this, he'll happily tell you the story, all while laughing himself sick.)
4. The Count of Monte Cristo: Imagine, just for a moment, having that kind of patience. Imagine the pure dedication to the end game. Imagine possessing the ability to live that lie. That is truly fascinating.
5. Me: I'm constantly changing; I am an entirely different person than I was even 5 years ago. I can't wait to see what's next.

Who fascinates you? Why? I want to know!

Day 5: A Place You'd Live But Have Never Visited

Welcome back, readers! Here's today's entry in the 30-Day Writing Challenge.

I had to really think about this one; I wouldn't call myself unadventurous, but the thought of moving somewhere sight-unseen is a little daunting, regardless of who you are! The answer I've come up with? San Francisco.

"But Tab!" you're thinking, "Why San Francisco? That's so....so....random!!" Well, I agree - and disagree. My first thought was New York City, truth be told. I've always wanted to go there, and by Jove, some day I'll get there! However....there's always been something about San Francisco that has somewhat called to me. Maybe it's the climate; maybe it's the culture; maybe it's just that I've watched one too many sitcoms and movies set there. I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. However, I feel like it's close enough to the ocean to satisfy the Nova Scotian in me, yet technology-savvy enough to interest me from a career standpoint. I can picture myself fitting in famously.

So what about you? Where can you imagine moving to, never having visited? Tell me!

Day 4: 10 Interesting Facts About Me

Here we go, into Day 4's post. This is such a completely arbitrary list...what I think is interesting isn't necessarily interesting to someone else, after all. However, I'll attempt to make it interesting for others, not myself. Hope it works!

1. I'm stubborn. Not just a little stubborn; I'm the kind of stubborn that means when I get something in my head, it's going to happen. I don't believe in "luck" (unless by "luck" we mean "working your ass off"), so when I get something - an idea, a goal, etc. - into my head, you can be pretty sure that eventually, it's going to happen.
2. I have very little patience for "victims" of their own life. As I mentioned above, I don't believe in "luck" - good OR bad. I believe that we all know what's best for ourselves, and that if we listen to the universe and what it's telling us, we'll be happy. This isn't to say I don't believe that bad things happen, or that people bring those things on themselves; that would be completely ludicrous to suggest. The type of "victims" I'm talking about are those who do nothing to help themselves and then lament on how "nothing ever works out" or "if it wasn't for bad luck" they'd have none. Sort yourself out, people. Get it together. Make forward movement - which actually requires TRYING. And on that note, trying something once and failing doesn't mean "it doesn't work" - it simply means you haven't found the right way to MAKE it work. Yet.
3. I have Imposter Syndrome. Don't know what that is? That's not a bad thing. Basically, somewhere in my head I feel like people are going to "find out" that I don't know what I'm doing or talking about. Logically I know that's not true - I've worked very hard to get to where I am, and I continue to do so. However....Imposter Syndrome has nothing to do with logic. Google it if you're interested.
4. I used to think I was a "Nurturer" until a very good (and smart) friend said, "Um, no. You're a Fixer." I actually cried, because I knew he was correct. I'm not the person to go to if you want a hug and to be told it'll all be okay; I'm the person who'll listen, hug you, then say, "Okay. Let's fix this!!" 
5. I collect toys. Mostly Pop! Figures, but also Marvel Select figures. I started this years ago, and at first it was only at work - my cubicle was delightful! - but then when I started working more from home, it sort of became a "thing". Also, little oddities that make my heart happy, such as the ones here: 
   
6. I'm very, very close to my family. My mother, one of my Aunts, and my two older sisters are people I cannot possibly imagine my life without - nor would I ever want to. I've been blessed with a life filled with love and support, and without these four women specifically, I'd probably be a much different person.
7. My closest friends are also like family to me. That will never change.
8. I know there's something more for me; I just haven't quite figured it out yet. Which is oddly combative with #3, I understand. Having said that...I'm currently trying to figure out what that "more" is, as I know it's time for me to do so.
9. My Sphynx, Loki Mischief, is my baby. He's wonderful, and I love him. I cannot imagine not having his little bald face wake me up every morning. If you can tell me how this face could be any sweeter, I'd love to hear it, because he just makes me melt: 
   
10. I'm engaged to one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my entire life. He's smart, funny, sweet, thoughtful, romantic, a genuinely good-hearted person, and to top it off...his crazy matches mine. I didn't expect him, and there are days when I'm still completely amazed that he exists. He's sort of awesome. :) (Plus, and I know I may be biased here, but whatever, he's super easy on the eyes. :D )
    

Well, there you go. 10 things about me that I feel are interesting. I hope you enjoyed them!

Day 3: My First Love & First Kiss

So some of you know that I'm doing this whole "30 Day Writing Challenge" thing, and while I'm not doing it daily (I just can't find the discipline!), I AM doing it. Truth be told, I've been putting Day 3 off, because I didn't want to think about it.

So here's my third. Of 30. *sighs* I'll get there. I will.

I'm going to start with my first kiss, because it came WELL before my first love. I was 13. It was at a school dance. It was with a guy who I went to school with. I'd had a crush on him since, well, forever. And I remember that for some reason, he was sitting on my lap - and that was totally okay. Weird....I guess because I was always overweight, I just accepted some things for what they were and left it at that. This was one of those things. Anyway, I remember blushing like crazy afterward, because *gasp* people SAW!! Funny isn't it? At 13, that was a "big deal". So yeah. There you go.

My first love was later. I met him when I was 16, and quite honestly, I didn't even really like him at first. I thought he was obnoxious. (If you know me AT ALL, you'll see the irony and humor here.) I thought he was cute, but remember thinking, "Too bad he's such an idiot." Well, that idiot became my best friend. And then, little by little, I fell in love with him. I'm not naming names here, because the people who read this and knew me then will know exactly who I'm talking about, and well, his identity really doesn't matter anyway.

We had a very odd relationship. I never really knew where I stood. Was I his girlfriend? Was I not? Only he ever really knew for sure - and if I'm honest, I think even that is a stretch. I know that if I showed any sort of interest in anyone else - even saying "I really like him!" because that person was interesting, smart, etc. - MFL (my first love, in case you didn't catch that OVERTLY CLEAR acronym...) was ALL about me. When I eventually decided I'd cried enough tears over him (and I remember using those exact words to my mother...) and moved on, he acted like I betrayed him. He eventually started dating someone else, and has since married her. She's not a fan of mine; I honestly don't know why, as we knew each other from our school years (I grew up in a rural Nova Scotia area - everyone knows everyone), and up until they got together, we got along. We weren't BFFs or anything, but we got along. Anyway...I saw him last spring, for the first time in probably a decade - maybe more. It was....tense. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't; I could tell that would make him uncomfortable. He seems to be well, though, and that's all that matters.

It interests me that someone who was once my entire world is now just a memory. I remember our mothers sitting and talking about our future children. Where one was, the other was; we were each others' shadow. Now? I assume he and his wife are doing well, successful, etc. - and I truly hope they're happy. He deserves to be happy. He's a really nice person. :)

Day 2: My Earliest Memory

Hello again, friends! I'm back - hide your shock (and disappointment)! So tonight I'm tackling Day 2 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge: My Earliest Memory.

This won't be a very long post, I'm sure, because truth be told...I'm not even sure this is a memory, or something I dreamed many years ago and it "stuck". I'll have to ask my father, because he's part of it.

I remember being in the porch at Nanny Melong's house, and my father Gerard was there as well. Me, him, and Nanny. Now, Nanny died when I was 9, so I wasn't very old - I feel like maybe 4...ish. There's a woodpile in the corner, because the house had a stove in the kitchen, and Gerard has fish in a bucket. Live fish. I have no idea what kind they were - nor do I know why he kept them in the bucket instead of putting them on a stick (through the gills - very effective way to carry trout. Hmm. Maybe they were trout!). Nanny and he are having a discussion about something totally unrelated to the fish in the bucket, which is what I remember most about this moment, because I'm just little, and all I can think about are those darned fish. :)

That's it. That's all I remember about that moment, but it's the memory I have that's both the furthest back and the clearest. There are others that are sort of peripheral, but that one is clear. I sincerely hope it's not the remnant of a dream. :)

Writing Prompts and Me: #SorryNotSorry

Okay, it's been a while. I'd do the whole "I'm sorry, I'm back" diatribe, but the truth is, I'm busy, I don't think of writing when I should, and well...I'm a slacker. Deal with it.

I saw this on Facebook tonight, and it sparked something in me.

I've decided I'm going to do this challenge if it kills me. So here we go.

Day 1: 5 Problems With Social Media

1. Narcissism

We all want to "be somebody". Well guess what, princess? Maybe you're just not somebody. Listen - I'm nobody. Sure I'm someone's mom, someone's best friend, someone's fiancee, someone's employee, someone's colleague. But in the grand scheme of things? I'm nobody. I'm just me. We all want this popularity online - we want to have the most Likes, the most Shares, etc. Dudes....we're just people. And while we may want to be "somebody"...the likelihood is that we're just us. And that's okay.

2. False Sense of Security

Sort of ties in with #1, sure. But really....look, it's this simple: You post a picture of yourself, or an event, or a meal you've created (I say "you", but I mean the general "you" - I'm including myself here). Imagine for a second if NO ONE "Liked" it. Imagine not ONE person double clicked it on Instagram. Imagine not ONE person shared it. Imagine not ONE person commented.

Let that sink in a moment, I've got to refill my wine glass.

You still with me? Okay. So now, think back to say....10 years ago. Think back to a meal that you prepared that really stretched the limits of your comfort zone. For me, it was longer than 10 years ago; it was probably more like 27 *gag* years ago, and it was, I kid you not, Peanut Butter Chicken. My parents were out, and I prepared this "masterpiece". (Turns out my mom is allergic to PB - who knew??) It was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. I had to follow that recipe to the letter in order to create this dish. No pictures were taken. No one (Mom especially, I assure you) applauded my attempt. It was simply a meal. Did I still feel great about the accomplishment? You bet I did. Did I wish I'd realized Mom was allergic to PB? You bet I did. The point I'm making here is that posting pictures of my "masterpiece" (and I assure you, I'm using that term VERY loosely...) wouldn't have given me any sort of "up" in the security/sense of accomplishment department. What did give me that "up", and what SHOULD give all of us that "up" is ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING.

3. Lack of Actual Interaction

Anyone who knows me AT ALL knows that my primary contact method these days is either a) Facebook or b) via text. I've moved to a new city, I've got a new job, I'm not exactly on a face-to-face reality with most of "My People". Sadly, this means that a lot of the time, I'm left feeling somewhat empty. Did I "have a conversation"? Sure. Was it "real"? Well...that's debatable, and really depends on who you ask. For those of us who have spent YEARS online, yes. For those old stogies who think that this "online thing" is still somewhat of a phase...probably not. Okay...no one thinks "online" is a phase, obviously. But there is certainly a LOT of research that delves into whether or not "online interaction" is actual interaction. My thought? It really depends on who you are, and whether or not you personally have evolved (emotionally) into a place where this is "enough". For me personally? Yes. I have many online friends who I've never met, and who are absolutely some of the best friends I've ever had. For others? Nope.

4. Instant Gratification

Sort of a collusion with #2, I admit, BUT also a bit different. We expect that if we Tweet to a company, we'll get a response within a "reasonable amount of time". Jay Baer has written an entire BOOK on the subject (sort of) that talks about how to turn "Haters" into advocates. While this has a marketing side (Ya'll know I'm a Social/Digital Media Marketer - as my fiance Eli reminds me often, "You knew what you were getting into!"), the point I'm trying to make here is that we, as a society, possibly even as a culture, expect immediate results to our posts. Let's be honest here - the whole reason we post ANYTHING is for the reactions of others. I'm going to post the link to this blog post once I'm done. Why? Because I WANT YOU TO READ IT!! Get my point? Let's move on.

5. The Forging of Otherwise Impossible Bonds

Two things come to mind here, so please bear with me. I'm sure you're wondering how this is a problem - we'll get there.

1. While I was pregnant with my youngest (about to turn 13), I 'met' a group of women on iVillage.com (no longer - *tear*) who became my best friends. This is a group of women who on a daily basis support, empower, encourage, and lift each other up. We've gone through everything together; divorces, loss of a child, illness, deaths, new jobs, new loves, new hair colours, career changes, moves, fashion trends....you name it, we've been there. And through it all....this is my FAMILY. These women - and I can't link to the group on Facebook, because it's "secret", and rightly so - are my FAMILY. If I need a kick in the ass, they're there. When I needed to talk about my marriage, they were there. Having a rough day at work and need to vent? Yup, they're there. Family member is ill and you're worried? They're there. Job interview and don't know what to wear? Upload pictures, they'll critique - they're there. Parenting issues and need advice? They're there. These women, this community - they ONLY exist because we're all online. That's the high-level common denominator. Yes, we were all pregnant at the same time - but if we weren't all online, we'd have never known each other. And I assure you...these women know me. Ya'll know you who are. I love each and every one of you.

2.  The industry I've chosen my career path in requires me to network, network, network. I also have to be constantly on top of things - there is no "down time", alas. Yet, I love it. Go figure. Anyway, my point is this: I've 'met' some truly amazing people. Take people like Robert Caruso. We've never met, and quite frankly, we likely never will. But we're Facebook Friends, we follow each other on Twitter, and we've had MANY conversations online about a million different topics. I know that he's a very proud Dad, he's completely in love with his lady, he has an amazing relationship with his parents (Go, Mama Caruso!!), and he's extremely dedicated to his work. So what's my point? I'd have never known this amazing person existed without social media.

So how are these "problems"? Well, okay, you've got me. They're not. But since I'm a huge advocate of social media, you didn't really think you were going to get away with 5 problems and nothing great, did you?

C'mon, people - let's be real. Are there problems? Yes. Yes, without question. Are there also amazing things? Absolutely. I for one choose to see the positives. I'll work on the negatives.

Especially if anyone can find that recipe for Peanut Butter Chicken. I'll give that another go...without serving it to Mom. (Sorry, Mama. I love you.)

Geek Girls RULE!

Last night I attended my first (of many, I hope!) Geek Girls TO event. It was held at the wonderful ING Direct Center in downtown Toronto - a truly fabulous venue. If you've never been there, the atmosphere is laid back and yet edgy, somehow - a perfect fit, as far as I'm concerned.

The topic was Mobile Evolution: Thinking Beyond The App. The speakers:

• Kitty Shum - @kitty_shum
• Thomas Purves - @tpurves
• Matthew Fabb - @matthewfabb

Honestly, I couldn't tell you which talk I liked "most" - they were all fantastic. Of the most interest to me personally was probably Thomas Purves' talk, which explained a lot to me about mobile carriers in Canada and how airwave auctions, "work" and why you're getting ripped off on those US roaming charges. 

All in all, the event was a wonderful time. I met some new people (shoutout to Shanta Nathwani - @TantienHime - who was an absolute delight to speak to and meet!), engaged in some great conversation, and  just had a great time. 

Here's looking forward to the July and August events! 

You can follow Geek Girls TO on Twitter or check out them out on MeetUp.

Stop 'Yer Whinin'!

I bet I've thought this 500 times this week. Just cut it out. I know you didn't get the promotion you thought you deserved. I know you didn't like how things worked out with that guy you were dating. I know things are shitty at home. Listen, I get it. I understand.

But stop 'yer whinin'!

Every single day we do things we're not happy about. Heck, some days I wonder if that's all my schedule says: "Do shit you don't want to do." You're not alone here, let me assure you. Somewhere, someone is just as pissed off about the way their day is going as you are *right now*.

I'm a big believer in making your own way in this world: No one's going to haul your shit around but you, soldier, so suck it up. Am I saying you should never feel down or depressed about what's happening around you? Of course not. I am, however, saying that it's time to stop whining about it and start doing the things you need to do to make shit better.

I have to give a huge shout out to Erika Napoletano right now. In case you don't read it (and you SHOULD), her blog is amazing, and often gives me the (bitch)slap I need. Like this one, that prompted me to get off my ass and do something. Read it. You'll feel better about your life.

And seriously.....stop 'yer whinin'.

Why I'm Glad I'm a Geek Girl

It's after 1am. I'm sitting here watching Breaking Bad (which, if you haven't watched yet, you should, because it's amazing) and thinking. My brain is literally teeming with ideas, plans, thoughts....all of them more expansive and impressive than the last.

I learned some very difficult lessons in the last year - difficult, frustrating, angering, humbling lessons. 2011 was much, much harder than I expected it to be. Family health issues, employment issues, life plan issues, financial issues...the list is long and winding, to be sure. Through it all, I attempted to remain calm, cool, collected and not stressed. (Did you snicker there? I sure did... ) I had days where I thought I was going to unravel - and not necessarily at the seams. There were many nights of sleeplessness, many days of worry, many  "What on earth am I doing??"-like thoughts going through my mind.

So how does 2011 being a total crap shoot pertain to this blog post? It's a brand new day. Nay, a brand new year. Furthermore, I am a Geek Girl. And as you're about to find out, Geek Girls rule.

I've decided I'm going to make 2012 my year. In case you haven't already (for shame!), check out this post - it explains that a little more fully. When I decided this, I hadn't quite decided yet how I was going to make this miracle happen...I just knew it was going to. It seemed like a bit of a mountain, sure, but I'm more stubborn than most people realize (maybe even myself...). Then I came to one very amazing, wonderful conclusion:

I'm smart enough to make things happen in my own life.

Read that line again. It bears repeating. And hey, do us both a favour: When you read it again, substitute "I'm" with "You're" and "my" with "your". You'll thank me later, I promise.

I'm smart enough, I'm capable enough, and I'm determined enough to make things happen in my own life. Why? Because, like other amazing Geek Girls out there (heck, there's even a #hashtag!), I'm intelligent, I'm able, and most of all, I'm willing to kick my own ass when I need it kicked. Let's be honest - sometimes there's no one else strong enough to do it. Most of us Geek Girls are also exceptionally strong-willed.

Part of my plan for making 2012 "The Year of Me" includes working on my own things. After all, we all want to be happy and feel accomplished and successful. Another part is about being proactive in encouraging and supporting others in finding their passion. I recently had a conversation in which some of my oldest and closest friends discussed whether or not we were "missing our calling". In that conversation, I realized that many of us were doing what we were "supposed" to do, what we "have" to do, etc. None of us were following our dreams, none of us were doing, as another Geek Girl friend of mine described, "What, when you do it, envelopes you in it so entirely that you literally think if nothing but what you are doing? That's called flow. What makes your heart sing?". (Thanks, Jules. You're brilliant.)

I am a Geek Girl. I get excited about technology and gadgets and Blurays, I love Facebook and Twitter and Google+, I make my Geek Husband proud, I love a good blog, my set is set aflutter at the thought of a new way of doing things. I'm smart enough to know that because I'm a Geek Girl, I will make 2012 The Year of Me.

And I'd be thrilled to help you make it The Year of You, too.

I Wasn't Kidding....

I'm starting 2012 with a bang. I refuse to simply sit back and wait for things to happen - I will MAKE them happen. I will not sit idly by and depend on the word of others - I will MAKE things happen.

Guess what, 2012? I'm turning 35 in a few short weeks, and you should know right now...big things are coming. 35 and 2012 are going to be nothing short of phenomenal.

I can't wait to look back at this and smile because I've made myself proud - of ME.

2012: The Year of Me

There's not much more to be said; the title of this post says it all.

I'm done "trying"...I'm about to start doing.

I'm finished "hoping"....I'm about to start acting.

I'm through with "wanting"...I'm about to start having.

2012 is the year of ME. And what a year it will be.

Winning? Not Today.

Le sigh. There's no winning.

Okay, so a few things about today's changes on Facebook. No doubt you've heard the complaints, the irritation, the rants, the vents, the general goings-on. If you didn't, you might be the only person on the planet - or you're not online.

I get that it's new. I get that it's different. I get that you liked "the old way". I get that you now have to "learn this". But seriously...c'mon, people. Think about this, as said beautifully by this someecards card:

Here's the thing: Facebook can't win with everyone. Think of it like road construction; we all bitch, moan and whine that it needs to be done - the potholes are terrible, they're eating our car, the government needs to fix this - and then we bitch, moan and whine when it's being done - it's an inconvenience, it makes our travel time longer, it's a pain to sit and wait. Let's be honest here, shall we? If the Facebook of September 21, 2011 looked exactly like and performed exactly like the Facebook of September 21, 2008, we'd all scream and curse and rant and rave that it was "behind the times", "outdated" and we'd ask what in the name of all things techie they were doing in those offices.

If you'd like to see a perfectly good example of what happens when a company stops innovating, take a look at RIM. There are many news stories out there all clearly illustrating that lagging behind has hurt this company more than anyone could have believed. Other companies moving ahead and doing new things that delight and captivate their customers means that the lack of the same at RIM is highlighted fantastically - though not so much for them. When they released their new lineup of phones just a few weeks ago, there were loud cries of "Too little, too late!" - I'm 150% certain that's not the reception they dreamed about the night before launch.

Maybe it's because I'm very much an online person, but I embrace changes like these. Facebook employs an entire team of developers and creative minds whose sole purposes with the company is to innovate and create change. As of July 2011, Facebook has more than 750 million active users. I find it pretty impossible to even suggest that a company that has amassed that sort of user-base doesn't know what it's doing. Even if you're not a fan of the platform, I think it's safe to surmise that they've got a grip on what's going to make their product better or worse. Maybe they could make their plans a little more publicly known, sure - but as I said to a friend (on Facebook, no less), why should they bother? They're not going to drop from 750 million users down to 14 individuals because they didn't hold a press conference before rolling out changes. People will adapt, the same as they always do, and in a week's time no one will remember what September 20, 2011's Facebook looked or behaved like.

The changes are here. Why not spend time getting to know them, find out what's nifty, helpful, interesting or new and embrace them? That's what I'll be doing.

What are your thoughts? Should we expect a message every time a free service/platform upgrades? I'd love to know what you think!

Brilliant or Insane? Game On!

There comes a time in your life where you take yourself by the hand, walk yourself down a scary little path into a shadowy, wooded area and say, "Okay now, Self...it's time to take the next step." Then comes the fun part - watching to see whether you'll take the step, or run screaming back into the light. (I make it sound joyous, no?)

That scary walk happened this week for me - I've started a new venture. Whether or not it'll work, only time will tell. Whether or not I've completely lost my mind, only time will tell. Whether, as the title of this post asks, I'm brilliant or insane, only time will tell. Obviously I'm hopeful that I'm brilliant, but if I'm completely honest there's a pretty good chance I'm certifiable.

I recently read a blog post by the awesome Lindsay Bell that rattled me to the core. Not because she's a fantastic writer (which she is) or because the topic was fantastic (which it was), but because the timing of it couldn't possibly have been better had she said, "Hey Tab - what do you think I should write about that would reach out and touch your brain?" Her post is about being comfortable with being uncomfortable - something many of us simply hate even attempting - and why it's important to take those little journeys.

For me, planning the trip isn't hard. Talking about the trip isn't hard. Getting my shoes on to walk the path isn't hard. Dropping myself off outside of that shadowy, wooded area and saying "Okay....go!!"...that's hard. I almost wish I could halve myself - at least then I'd be able to give myself a push, right? Alas, I have to stare into that shadowed, scary area and say to myself, "Alright...let's do this."

I've done it. I've started what may or may not be the coolest, greatest, most fun and brilliant thing I've ever done, or the craziest, off-the-wall, most insane thing I've ever done. Right now, I have no idea which it is. Am I comfortable being uncomfortable? I'd love to tell you "Hell yes I am!", but I'd be lying. Right now I'm more in a place of "Okay, the first step has been taken. Let's just get some footing and see how the next step forward feels." However, and this is the part that I think is really cool, I'm on the path to getting there.

But you know what? That's a lot further than I was yesterday. :)

Thanks, Lindsay - you've been a great source of inspiration and believe-in-myself the last few months. Pretty good for someone I've never met, huh? 

Tips From A Pro - Lucky Me!

Talk about fun! During a recent B2B blogging webinar provided through MLT Creative, I was lucky enough to have a question answered by Mark Schaefer, owner of {grow} - if you haven't checked it out, do yourself a favour and do so.

I've recently started a company blog for Sandy Bay Networks, the fantastic company that employs me, and wanted to ask Mark for some tips on doing so. He put together a fantastic blog post to answer my question, and I'm really excited to have someone so experienced and well-known in the blogging and marketing world give their input. Thanks, Mark!

To read Mark's blog, and maybe even help your own blog start-up be that much easier, check it out: http://www.businessesgrow.com/blog/

How Does Your Community Grow?

When I hear the phrases “engaging community members” and “building community” used, I can’t help it: my ears perk up a little. Having spent over a decade immersed in online communities – both business and non-business related – I feel I’ve got a pretty decent handle on what works and what doesn’t.

My concern these days? I feel like we’re forgetting the basics. I’m all for engaging the members in your community, I’m all for interacting, and I’m all for encouraging conversation. However, I think we’re being a little full of ourselves to think that simply doing these things make a community thrive. The fact of the matter is, communities are more than just words on a website. They require real connections to be made – simply being there isn’t enough. Without relationships and interaction beyond “Tell us what you think of us!” you have little more than an online suggestion box.

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough see a number of “sides” of online communities. I’ve been a new member, I’ve been a volunteer community leader, I’ve been a community moderator…I’ve done it all. One thing I’ve watched happen time and time again is a community dying due to lack of relationships forming. On the other hand, I’ve also watched relationships form and bloom countless times. The difference in the atmosphere of the communities is astonishing; one is cold and stark, the other jubilant and engaging all of its’ own accord. To further illustrate my point, take this into consideration: in 2002 I was pregnant with my youngest son and joined an “Expecting Club” community. I’m proud to tell you that I am still in contact with a large number of these women on a daily basis and consider them some of my best friends. Without the formation of relationships, of solid connections, these communities wouldn’t be a part of my life I look upon fondly.

Obviously online communities in the business world have differences from personal on non-business communities, but I think that the basics of what make them work stand true. Unless you’re willing (and able) to provide a massive amount of incentives for post counts or answering surveys, ensuring that your community has something to keep people coming back is essential. Without members, you have no community, plain and simple. Sure you can continually invite and market yourself, but my question is this: Would you rather have the opinions of 1500 people who all visited your community once for the free t-shirt, or the opinions of 150 people who have put some serious time, thought and effort into relaying to you what they really think? The better the relationships you develop the more honest and open your members are willing to become. A major pitfall of those 1500 one-time visitors is that the opinions you’re going to hear are going to be mostly positive – they want to ensure they get the incentive. While the number may look better, the data you’re collecting isn’t going to be nearly as beneficial to your business or organization.

My advice to anyone, whether on a personal or professional level, interested in starting an online community? Make sure you’re willing to put the time into handling it properly. Hire the right people to moderate it, and don’t fall into the trap of thinking that great community management/moderation comes easily or cheaply. Don’t expect that the same person who manages communities aimed at men will be as successful at managing those aimed at children. If you’re lucky this is the case, but remember that it’s not going to be the general rule.

Communities thrive when they’re allowed and encouraged to do so. This is a fundamental truth we should all keep in mind. Now go out and foster those connections!

May I Help You?

I'm not afraid to ask for help. I have always been the sort of person who knows when something is beyond my capabilities and knows that there comes a time for each of us when the words "Can you help me with this?" just have to be asked. I remember being a little kid and struggling with the zipper on a jacket and realizing "I need help!" but was too stubborn to ask - I waited until my frustration level was too high and broke it. Lesson learned. Waiting too long to ask sometimes has results we're not happy with.

Over the last few years, I've realized that knowing when to ask for help is only one part of the issue. Knowing how to ask for help is often the part we get stuck on. No matter how badly we need assistance, if we ask in a way that isn't conducive to receiving it, we're still in a bind.

You've been in the situation, I'm sure: Someone asks you, completely exasperated, "Can you just help me??" Yes, they're exasperated. Yes, they're struggling. Yes, you want to help. It's really difficult to help someone who's already reached the "I hate this!" stage, though. They don't listen as well, they're probably argumentative, they're thoroughly frustrated with the entire situation, and you know going into it that harsh words are a good possibility. It makes helping a chore instead of a pleasure.

Regardless of what you're doing, whether it's at work, at home, in a social setting, is to take a step back. Breathe. Count to ten. Do whatever you have to do to be in the right state of mind to ask for and accept help. Remember - when you ask for help, you're about to learn something. Your way of going about the problem wasn't successful, and you're looking for another viewpoint. Realize that it's not going to be the way you'd do things - you've already tried that avenue. Be open to learning. Be open to suggestions. Accept that there is another way - and accept that by learning that way, you're not only fixing a problem, you're also opening your mind to another way of thinking.

No, I don't get asking for help "right" every time. I'm human - I get frustrated and lose my temper and feel like a buffoon. More often than not, however, I find myself taking a step back, breathing, and realizing that before I can ask for help, I must be ready to accept it.

How can we help others accept help? Do you think there's a way to position ourselves with customers/clients/friends/etc? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Is Anyone Out There? Yes - And They're Talking!

As part of my new position with Sandy Bay Networks, I have the pleasure of introducing clients to the wonderful world of interacting with their customers; instead of simply having a website online, I aim to help companies understand the importance of interaction and engagement.

In a recent meeting, I found myself explaining why social media is important for this particular client. My words were, "There's a conversation happening about your company. Whether or not you choose to be a part of it, whether you choose to harness the opportunity to interact with your customers, is up to you."

Since that meeting, I've had some time to really think about what this statement means - not just for that client, but for all companies and organizations. Once you're in the public eye, once your brand or name is known, a new level of conversation can be attained. Instead of simply saying "Here's our website - enjoy!", it makes sense, especially in today's culture, to actually interact with the people who are discussing you. What better way to help create brand loyalty than conversation?

Humans are an interesting lot. We'll go to the same restaurant or coffee shop for years, receiving friendly, reliable service each and every time; we'll come to expect it, take it for granted. Chances are we won't discuss it with others unless someone really goes above and beyond - but what about that one time that our meal isn't perfect or the girl at the counter gets our XL-three-cream-no-sugar order wrong? Then we'll complain about it - it's in our nature - but more likely to our circle of people, not to someone at the place we experienced the bad service.

I asked my client to look at it this way: Imagine you've just opened a new store. Your business is doing well, but you want it to do better. You're at a loss - why aren't people coming back? Why is the customer return rate so low? Here's what you don't know: your bathrooms are always unkempt...and customers are not only turned off, they're telling other people. It's a seemingly small thing, right? Something easily fixed, correct? But what if you don't know?

Okay granted, it's probably a silly example. My point remains the same: without all the information, you're not making educated decisions. If you knew people were talking about your shoddy bathrooms, you'd change them - or at least you'd know that the problem existed to then decide whether or not to act upon it. Being a part of the conversation gives you the opportunity to ask questions ("Wondering if anyone can let us know how we can serve you better!" on Twitter, or an informal post/question on Facebook would do the trick!) and have your customers respond and interact with you.

How does your organization interact with customers/clients? What about with other businesses? I'd love to hear your take on it!